This is going to be long, so apologies ahead of time.
Okay so my husband is kind of a hermit. He keeps to himself…but he’s also trying to change that about himself and he’s not as much a loner as some people can be. He goes out and he has some really good friends. My family accepted him from day one (sometimes i think they love him more then me, but I love that :3) and he’s trying to be more in touch with his family. Before we got married it was once or twice a year when he called his mother and uncle…and he couldn’t get ahold of his brother. They are both military so moving around is common and losing contact information is comon.
So his brother doesn’t call him at all… and we have a sorta quick wedding. He visited me for a month, proposed 2 weeks later… we got married in a hurry and got my passport and uprooted myself to move across the world for my new husband. Not the most ideal way to start off a marriage, but we’ve been together for 3 years now and are more in love with each other then the day we got married.
Anyway enough sappy stuff… so in germany we find out parker is in germany and I think he calls us and says hi. I get to meet his brother they talked cheery like…and he said he’s come down from his place to visit us and he’d call us back about the details. He never did. Christmas went by and the next time we hear from him is on his mother’s birthday. My husband called his mother for her birthday but she didn’t answer and he left a message. So his brother calls him and curses at him calling him this and that and how terrible he is for not calling his mother. A misunderstanding of course…and we thought after a year and a half and with all the time money and effort we’ve put into with keeping in touch and VISITING his mother and uncle… that he was over it. Well apparently not.
I talked to him today a about making a trip to where he’s living and visiting him, his new wife and baby. My husband and I want to see our baby neices and I want to finally meet his brother.
Well no. He just went on and on about how much of a pos my husband is for only calling once or twice a year for the three years before we were married and that my husband needs to grow up and be a man.
Now remind you after his brother’s call, michael did make a bigger effort to call more often. He would call on the birthdays, holiday (big ones).. and once or twice randomly. That’s a HUGE upgrade for him… not to mention we spent our tax return on a very expensive visit to MEET and spend time with them. But not… he’ll never change, he’s a pos and never keeps in touch with his family.
Now i don’t understand this. Me and my brother have had some pretty big tiffs, but we put it aside for family, and we eventualy forgave each other. This is something he’s over reacting about and I’m sad and frustrated because he’s being unfair and very selfish.
HE never calls my husband… EVER… and in germany we called him a few times.
Now … his brother calls his family 6/7 days a week. So obviously my husband doesn’t put forth THAT much effort… and quit frankly I wouldn’t either.. my father AND brother both agree… I don’t understand why he doesn’t put this aside for his kid at least. My family hated an uncle of mine, but I still got to know him, ya know? But i’m afraid we’ll never get to see our little neices unless we’re at a family gathering of some kind. And i’m also afraid my children will never get to meet thier uncle because he doesn’t want anything to do with us. 
He disowned my husband and it’s not fair. I tried to patch things up… but it requires a bit of effort on his brothers part to rebuild a burnt bridge, ya know? I hated my mother for years, but she is putting ALOT of effort into making it up to me… and just that little bit of effort has made me put that horrible things aside.
Maybe i’m just crazy for worrying over this and I’m still going to send cards and gifts to my neices… and cards for thier birthday’s… and i’m sad that he wont return the favour when we have kids. It’s just… really sad.
Any advise on how to fix this? Am I being too crazy?
You have every right to be incredibly empathetic. He is your hubby. You share the pain.
July 11th, 2010 at 11:44 pm
You have every right to be incredibly empathetic. He is your hubby. You share the pain.
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